i miss blogging. i miss writing, actually, not just blogging. it's just that i hardly have the time, and when i do, nothing comes to mind.
i think i need to make the effort. natatanga na ako. legal terms invade my every day english. ugh!
so, i resolve to write. a few words at a time, till it gets easier, and till it becomes second nature again.
till then, bear with me.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Friday, July 17, 2009
Monday, March 19, 2007
wordless
how do you say speechless when it comes to writing?
the thing i hated most about working was that it cut into my writing time. back when i was bumming around, or even when i was still in school and reviewing for the bar, i used to just whip out my handy dandy notebook and write stuff down. sometimes i made do with bank receipts, parking tickets, grocery tape receipts, table napkins, paper placemats and what have you. i was never without a pen and even waiting in line gave me a chance to put my thoughts into words.
when i started working i found myself getting rusty. i used to be able to just go through the database that is my brain and pick out the exact word or phrase to describe what i was feeling or thinking. stories popped out of the woodwork and the words just flowed.
lately i noticed that the words don't come as easily. i have to sit back and think of that one word that i knew existed but couldn't find. sometimes it would take only seconds. most of the time it takes a host of minutes, or even hours before my brain cooperates.
i miss the spontaneity. i miss writing poems about anything and everything. i miss writing letters just because.
i'm still rusty. i find myself having to read my writing over and over again to make sure i got the tenses right, that the subject-verb agreement was correct, and that i had sentences that flowed into each other smoothly. these used to be second nature. i could write an essay and not have to look at it again, without worrying that things were somehow misplaced.
and the passion flickers. hell i used to write about lizards, zuma, being fat... anything and everything. but now...i always end up saying i'll write about it some other time. i never do.
this blog was created for two things -- to let steam out, and to make sure i kept on writing.
steam got out. but the writing part got stalled every now and then.
maybe it's time for a new notebook. i have about 30 notebooks, some barely half-filled, but filled some nonetheless. maybe it's time for a change.
too many maybes.
maybe this will remind me of how easy it used to be. less than 5 minutes and still my favorite poem of all time:
stinging
as tears roll
sunlight glares
burns
but the chill
stays untouched
in my soul
by the burning rays.
the thing i hated most about working was that it cut into my writing time. back when i was bumming around, or even when i was still in school and reviewing for the bar, i used to just whip out my handy dandy notebook and write stuff down. sometimes i made do with bank receipts, parking tickets, grocery tape receipts, table napkins, paper placemats and what have you. i was never without a pen and even waiting in line gave me a chance to put my thoughts into words.
when i started working i found myself getting rusty. i used to be able to just go through the database that is my brain and pick out the exact word or phrase to describe what i was feeling or thinking. stories popped out of the woodwork and the words just flowed.
lately i noticed that the words don't come as easily. i have to sit back and think of that one word that i knew existed but couldn't find. sometimes it would take only seconds. most of the time it takes a host of minutes, or even hours before my brain cooperates.
i miss the spontaneity. i miss writing poems about anything and everything. i miss writing letters just because.
i'm still rusty. i find myself having to read my writing over and over again to make sure i got the tenses right, that the subject-verb agreement was correct, and that i had sentences that flowed into each other smoothly. these used to be second nature. i could write an essay and not have to look at it again, without worrying that things were somehow misplaced.
and the passion flickers. hell i used to write about lizards, zuma, being fat... anything and everything. but now...i always end up saying i'll write about it some other time. i never do.
this blog was created for two things -- to let steam out, and to make sure i kept on writing.
steam got out. but the writing part got stalled every now and then.
maybe it's time for a new notebook. i have about 30 notebooks, some barely half-filled, but filled some nonetheless. maybe it's time for a change.
too many maybes.
maybe this will remind me of how easy it used to be. less than 5 minutes and still my favorite poem of all time:
stinging
as tears roll
sunlight glares
burns
but the chill
stays untouched
in my soul
by the burning rays.
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