Friday, September 30, 2005

ah yeth.

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!


Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul.
You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have.
Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone.
You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

Friday, September 23, 2005

elevator blues

apparently the elevator incident is still bothering me. i dreamt that i was stuck in several different elevators.

one went straight to the basement, another fell apart around me, one just stayed where it was.


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

careful what you ask

we were eating lanzones from bangkok the other day. my sister was wondering why the fruits from bangkok are more succulent and generally better than our fruits. she asked this question:

"what do they have that we don't?"

the answer was simple.


:D she refused to eat after that. teehee.

Monday, September 19, 2005

the saga continues

yesterday was the third sunday of the bar. same as with the first 2 sundays, woke up at 430 to prepare breakfast and lunch, brought them to the gates at 7, slept till noon. i went out lunchtime to meet an old friend i haven’t seen in years. we talked for a while, then i headed back to the hotel.

tom brought a newspaper so we started reading and job-hunting. i was so disgusted with the lack of job prospects that had i been serious about looking for a new job i would have cried myself silly. anyways, ended up with the crossword puzzle.

when i was done with the puzzle i saw an insert in the papers about the opening of shopwise manila. we decided to go.

big mistake. since it was opening day, the place was packed. we just needed a few essentials so we mapped out our path. the music was lively and i was high on adrenaline. so i started dancing while walking, much to reyna’s eternal shame. she didn’t try to stop me though since i think she was enjoying it just as much as i was.

when we got back to la salle we waited for my sisters and my cousins to come out. i still had my grocery bags with me. they all looked shell-shocked.

we piled into the elevator, waited for the door to close, pressed the right floor and waited. the elevator moved. then stopped. yes, stopped. and all the lights on the door panel winked out.

tom counted the people. the elevator said 15. there were only about 10 of us. i told tom, gently, that i think it was the 1000 kilo limit we were supposed to be looking at, not the number of people. (insert evil grin here)

my sister was panicking. she actually screamed for help, and one stranger told her to not hyperventilate. heyng? as if it were a voluntary thing. they started fanning her. i remained calm, although the heat was making me sweat. i had 10 bottles of C2 iced tea and i knew we wouldn’t get dehydrated anytime soon, and i had water too.

then i had this brilliant idea of trying to open the door. it did. easily. and we faced a blank wall. oooops. i hurriedly closed the door. we were stuck in the express zone.

eventually help came and the elevator started going down. apparently the elevator was overloaded but the sensors closed the door anyways.

we took the elevators 4 at time to get to the 29th floor. we burst out laughing at the thought, although my other sister didn’t find it funny. we all breathed a collective sigh of relief when we made it upstairs.

thing about it is, they stopped being depressed about the exam and focused on their mortality instead. dinner never tasted that good.

we’re alive, and we live to see another bar sunday. it’s still something to be thankful for.

Friday, September 16, 2005

music and then some

last night borcee, fams, and myself ended up in conspiracy to watch cooky chua. the set started late since her bassist (uy karen) was missing in action. when he arrived they set up onstage.

several people jammed with the group, one was tots tolentino, the other was joey quirino (i think) who never blinked the whole time he was playing the keyboards. there were a lot of musicians in the place, and one of them was a stroke survivor. we watched him sing, which he did with much enthusiasm, despite initially saying that he was shy.

when they were about to sing "isn't she lovely" the lights went out because of the rains. the emergency lights switched on and this guy started singing a capella. at the top of his voice. we just had to applaud when he stood up and started stomping his feet to keep time with the song. everybody was in high spirits by this time, buoyed no doubt by this guys zest.

i sat there, singing along and thinking that this is what it must be like to have a second chance. he was so ... ALIVE.

imagine how the world will be like if we all lived life that way. man, we'd all be LIVING.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

listening to this at the moment

some girls

some girls take hours to paint every perfect nail
fragrant as flowers, all powdered and prim and pale.
but you are as wild as that wind-blown tree,
as dark and as deep as the midnight sea.
while they're busy dressing, you lie here, warm and bold.
some girls you picture, some you hold.

some girls take courses at all the best schools in france
riding their horses and learning their modern dance.
they're clever and cultured and worldly wise.
but you see the world through a child's wide eyes.
their dreams are grand ones, you want what's just in reach.
some girls you learn from, some you teach.

you are not small talk or shiny cars
or mirrors or french cologne.
you are the river, the moon, the stars.
you're no one else i've known.

some girls take pleasure in buying a fine trousseau,
counting each treasure and tying each tiny bow.
they fold up their futures with perfumed hands
while you face the future with no demands.
some girls expect things others think nothing of.
some girls you marry, some you love.

this is from the soundtrack of once on this island. love the whole song but the last line makes me sad. di ba?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

children will listen

we never really know how much we screw up children. but we do screw them up, whether it be through praises, criticisms, off-hand comments, or sometimes just by being ourselves. of course the love we give them serves as a means to counteract these things, but sometimes... well sometimes they don't get counteracted.

the other day my nephew renzo had this to say:

di ba tita anna president arroyo is a real president even if she's small?

go figure. i don't know what he heard or saw. but that was his dilemma.

i can only imagine what kids think about when they watch tv, see headlines (for those who can read), or listen to the radio. and i wonder what conclusions they draw everytime adults drop comment after comment after comment.

issues like this can't be that easy to understand. ako nga confused, sila pa kaya? or perhaps they have a better understanding of the world because they have no worries about what others think.

reminds me of this song from into the woods:

"Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn
Children may not obey, but children will listen
Children will look to you for which way to turn
To learn what to be
Careful before you say "Listen to me"
Children will listen..."

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

comfort food

when i think of comfort food, i only have 2 candidates: medium rare T-bone steak or spaghetti with meat sauce.

i don't go for chocolates or ice cream or cake. it has to be either steak or spaghetti.

i've always wondered why. then one day i sat down and contemplated the whys of my comfort food. after much thinking, i realized that i consider these my comfort food because i associate them with happiness.

when i was younger (ahem) there were no fast food outlets in baguio. eating out was always a treat because it meant a restaurant. birthdays, graduations, anniversaries were spent in the same way -- mass in the morning then breakfast at star cafe or dainty lunch. then we'd celebrate at home with my mom cooking her famous pansit and maja blanca, or dinner at shakey's or rose bowl.

shakey's was not a fast food when i was growing up. it was a pub-type place, with swinging saloon doors, low hanging lamps, prints on the walls, and waiters dressed in tin-pan-alley outfits, complete with hats. there was a small elevated platform where a child can watch a guy assemble pizzas. it was always dim, and there would be a live band (or combo, as they used to call it then) or a pianist.

every time we went to shakey's i ordered one thing: skilletti. this was spaghetti with mushrooms, red and green bell peppers, and ground beef in tomato sauce. they would serve this in a skillet, which added to its charm. imagine! eating from a pan in a restaurant! it was such a pleasant treat for me. if i couldn't finish it, they'd put it in a happy-meal like box but which was in the shape of a house. complete with decorative chickens in the yard.

as for rose bowl, i'd order their huge T-bone, medium rare, with a boat of mushroom gravy. they served it on sizzling plate and i'd watch it sizzle and bubble when i pour the gravy on. then i'd dig in. i'd slice through the succulent meat and just savor the tender, juicy bite-sized steak. my own slice of heaven.

i never shared my steak. my sisters would always share because they couldn't finish one serving. i ate mine all by myself.

so there. every happy occasion in my younger life was marked with mommy's cooking, or shakey's skilleti, and rose bowl T-bone steak.

these days they don't serve skilletti anymore, and shakey's is just a regular fast food place. rose bowl's steak has shrunk, although it's still yummy (or at least it was, about 2 years ago). sad.

the associations never left me though. whenever i feel the urge to eat something and i'm down, i look for my happy food. i don't look for rose bowl steak or shakey's skilletti. i just want steak or spaghetti. kahit na jollibee pa yan or mcdonald's or steak dun sa casaa.

the happy feelings flood in and lift up me some. comfort food. literally. small blessings. i'm always thankful. :)

(oh, and shakey's and i turned 30 this year. no wonder i love the place. :)

Monday, September 05, 2005

bedlam. again.

yesterday was the first day of the bar exams. before anything else, i guess i'd like to say i'm mighty thankful i never have to go through that again.

2 of my sisters and 1 cousin are taking the exams at the moment. was up at 430 yesterday morning to make sandwiches for their lunch. at 615 we brought them to the gates.

after the 2nd exam there they were, rehashing the questions, and telling tales of what happened during the exam. several examinees didn't come back for the afternoon exam. a friend was telling a story about how a girl exclaimed "ilabas niyo na yan, na-di-distract kami!" when one of the examinees had an epilepsy attack. talk about stress.

i know how stressed out they must have felt. after all, i've been there before. standing there at the sidelines and watching them i found myself wishing i could spare them the trouble of having to go through that trying period.

for someone who wants to become a lawyer, the bar exams is a necessary evil. after going through a grueling 4 years (or in some cases, 5 or 6) of law school, they have to go through 6 months of review, one month of hell for the exams, and another 6 months of waiting and wondering whether they should consider studying again for the next bar.

it disrupts a person's balance and waylays well-made plans.

still... it's something one must go through. an uncle once said that it is a learning process, that if only for the months of review, one should want to take the bar exams.

to a certain extent, i believe that. i can honestly say that i learned a lot during the bar exams. time and again i found myself saying "oh... so that's what it is" or "so that's why..."

still, despite the learning, the mental and emotional fatigue can sometimes be more than one can take.

they have 3 more sundays to go and then, freedom... at least until the bar results come out.

for my part, i just have to stay and keep waiting at the sidelines. and pray that they never have to go through it again.

Friday, September 02, 2005

the people who know how to run the country are busy cutting hair and driving cabs.

i heard this somewhere. or something like it.

for the past week all the taxis i've ridden had the impeachment proceedings on the radio. some will comment, some just listen on with grim faces. most likely they know more than the congressmen sitting at the house.

last night, however, the taxi driver was all smiles. he had a commentary on the impeachment on the radio, which he quickly changed to a music station. (looks like he wasn't interested in running the country).

he spoke to me in english and had a slightly feminine demeanor.

he dropped me off at conspiracy since i was attending a board meeting. here's how the conversation went:

him: here?
me: yes.
him: wag masyado inom ha?
me: opo.
him: (correcting me) opo ATE.
me: opo ate.
him: you have children na?
me: no.
him: so chubby ka lang?
me: oo, chubby lang ako.

i got out of the cab.

sigh. if he held the helm i have no doubt it would be very interesting for all us romans.