Tuesday, January 30, 2007

i conspire

a few posts ago i said that i was sad that my happy place was subjected to a closure order.

it had been a very stressful week for us, and conrado de quiros finally spoke.

read his column today: conspirator.

i not so sad anymore.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

gumaganda ka...

i never know what to say every time someone says that. it's either i preen and say a flirty thank you, or i go on the defensive and say "so pangit ako noon?"

i would understand if i've been taking steps to "beautify" myself. you know -- hair styling, make-up, diet (hehehe), wardrobe... the works. but i don't. (somehow, this comes off as very mayabang. pero nasimulan ko na eh. )

really, i've been getting a lot of comments like that. could be because i'm a lot more confident now (oo na mas mayabang ako ngayon) and i've outgrown my tattered jeans and tattered shirt phase. maybe not completely but some. could be na pangit talaga ako noon.

it's nice though, when people say it, and it's been a particularly bad day for me.

so i guess next time an ordinary thank you would be good. :)

Thursday, January 25, 2007

my happy place is sad

we got a closure order from city hall. so we're closed for tonight.

i sad.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

i have decided to let them live

went to the main office of lto this morning to get a duplicate license.

everything went well in the beginning, actually. got an application, filled it up, then went to wait for my name to be called. i was there at 9 am. i figured i still had plenty of time and i wasn't worried about being late for work.

9:30 i was still okay. bought a newspaper from an ambulant vendor, read some, answered the crossword puzzle.

10:00 i was beginning to feel hot and irritated.

10:30 i went to ask what was wrong. turns out i was just in time to have my picture taken. at the same time they informed us people waiting that they were experiencing a system slowdown. fine.

went back to my seat and finished the crossword. fished out a hanky and a fan and stared and stared and stared.

11:00 i went to the window and asked what was happening. system slowdown. same old same old. so i asked if the thing could be processed before lunchtime. hmmm. not likely. then that girl there asked if i would like to pull my papers out. DUH? i saw red.


she said that the license was going to be processed. but the system was now OFFLINE. i was so mad i was close to tears. why couldn't they at least give us an idea as to how many more hours we had to wait? then this other girl says it was almost lunchtime, so i was going to have to wait.

i was livid and out for blood. but i waited it out. then the announcement came. they told us to go to lunch.

i, being the stupid person that i am, was wearing heels. of all days. and i had to walk for about 300 meters in the noon heat just so i can go have lunch. i think i actually shed a tear or two.

12:30 i went back. to my relief they had decided to cut their lunch break and were back now back in business. i got called to have my picture taken again. apparently they have to take your picture twice if you lose your license.

i was told to wait. so wait i did.

1:00 some idiot starts waving a fan in my direction, asking for change.

me: may paypay ako.
him: ma'am sige na para hindi ka mapagod.
me: layuan mo ako mainit ulo ko.
him: ma'am papaypayan ko kayo.
me: sinabi nang layuan mo ako mainit ang ulo ko.
him: (keeps waving fan)

he finally walked away. then some guy from gma tv approaches me and apologizes. apparently it was a challenge they gave that poor soul. well too bad tough shit he caught me at a bad time.

1:30 i got called to pay and got my license in 15 minutes.

i look ready to kill in my license. sigh.

4 hours of waiting for a license i will only get to use for the next 6 months. that doesn't seem fair.

i wanted to strangle, maim, murder someone. but i in all my graciousness decided to let them live. what of the other people who need licenses?

they don't know how lucky they are.

they live to see another day.

Monday, January 22, 2007

do you ever get that feeling that every song that plays is mocking you?

i used to kid around that i had a dj in my head. every time something even remotely requiring attention happens to me or around me, some totally appropriate song from the vast music library that is my head plays.

lately it's been perverse and mocking. sometimes it plays not just one song for the moment in question, but two or three. that's not all. even the shuffle on my ipod is joining the fray. and the radio.

no i don't want to have love songs in my head about temptation and being shameless and a few words too many. and i don't want them playing on my ipod either. but the thing is, they DO play. and i can't do a thing about it. if i shut my ipod down, my inner dj starts playing songs in my head. if i do manage to shut that down too, radio music from some remote speaker takes up the slack.

the universe playing tricks on me. mean tricks.

could be sending me a message though. telling me to face things i've been avoiding. pushing me to soul-search, you think?

i'm not ready. so i guess till i am, i'm going to have to endure listening to music i would prefer to not listen to right now.

sigh. oh well. if the universe says jump, what can you do but ask how high?


you can't choose them, so they say. but you can choose to not consider them relatives, right?

i won't go into details. generalities maybe.

well sometimes i just find it hard to believe that i am actually related by blood to some people. i find myself thinking surely somebody who shares my blood could not be as complete an asshole as this ________(uncle, cousin, aunt, nephew, niece. fill in the blank.)?

but you know what? they are complete assholes. they. i can't believe how anyone could trade good relations for money. a measly sum, at that. they think just because they've been forgiven over and over and over in the past, they can keep on getting away with being the total jerk-offs that they are. and then they pretend that they had nothing to do with it.

hay naku. i am being deliberately vague because my mom and dad would probably get on my case for this.

hay naku. i'm certain of one thing. i had decided years ago that when i get married, there will only be a handful of relatives. and you know what? they're growing less in number by the year.

Monday, January 15, 2007

happy new year?

half a month into the year and here i am again. lost my wallet last week so i'm still not in full possession of my faculties. but i will post.

let me see. new year posts usually consist of a post game analysis of the events of the previous year. sounds like a good start.

so. 2006. let's put them into categories. --family, work, love, friends, others. order irrelevant.

family -- sometime february last year we welcomed a new baby into the family. daryl thaddeus, my very own siopao. he's so cute i want to just bite him sometimes. smart to boot! he's picked up some of my habits, particularly when it comes to clothes. ate kay wants to strangle me. :D

my niece also gave birth to a baby girl. i felt a pang of sadness when she did. she's only a baby herself-- looking all grown up, but a baby nonetheless. but babies are blessings, no matter what. so am happy there's a new baby too. even if that makes me some sorta kinda a lola.

my parents are okay. had a few health scares and they continue to scare me when i'm all alone and about to sleep. i just pray everyday for their continued health and thank the BIG GUY up there. sometimes, though, i realize that my parents aren't getting any younger. that fact escapes me most of the time, mainly because they look ages younger than their actual age and they're too cool to be believed. my mom is almost addicted (so she says) to computer games, and my dad still invites me to drink out every now and then (me! the youngest girl!). i worry though but i trust mr. BIG GUY knows what he's doing.

my other siblings are fine. two of them are busy manning the law firm, also known as "da four sisters law firm (carinderia)" despite the fact that they both promised to never practice. anna b is sorely missed. it's been over a year since i last saw her and i feel her absence everyday, specially when confronted by grinning horses on brown bottles. da doctor is crazy as ever and i worry about her too. i guess i'll just have to pray that things straighten out for her soon. as for our resident us citizen, well... she's handled herself for so long i'm sure she'll keep on doing that for many many years to come. wag lang niya ko pabilhin ng pulburon molders. :)

work - hay work. i've been getting the hang of it but sometimes i just feel so tired and spent. it doesn't help that my family wants me to just go home and be a lawyer. still, i'm here. i know i'm good at what i do (mayabang ako, eh, bakit ba. walang hihirit.) and i'm learning a lot about things i never thought i'd pay attention to. to a certain extent the learning is keeping me here.
but my office friends keep me sane - jen, junjun, bebe, latino, luz, and elna. plus there's marge. each day is an adventure with them. you never know what they're going to think up next. so siguro di pa ko aalis dito. of course, the darned thing pays the bills. :D

love - hahahhaha. funny.

friends - made a lot of friends last year. kept most of the ones i already had. lost touch with some (sad.). i'm quite thankful, though, that i know these are people i'd fight for and they'd fight for me if need be. i'm extremely lucky when it comes to friends, i suppose.

others - ha. there it is. played an untold number of badminton games. drank an untold number of beers. slept odd hours. made a lot of decisions that still make me cringe. but these things are done and i can't really do anything about them.

travelled a lot too. :D :D :D

i'm not big on details these days. i think i'm still in a rut and i'm trying to get out of it. how did j put it -- my feeling of aimlessness.

hopefully i'll post more often. i miss writing.

so there. so far the first 15 days of the year leave much to be desired. wish me luck.

just make sure i don't have my phone with me when the brown bottles are there. :D