been avoiding admitting this for too long. i'm lonely.
it's been what? 4 months. i've been doing the rounds, going out 2 or 3 times a week, playing badminton 5 days out of 6, getting a maximum of 6 hours sleep every night.
my body is complaining, but that's tolerable. though i've never been a big fan of medicine, i do know when to quit being a hero.
but the rest of me is a wreck. i've been on automatic mode for months now. i wake up, cook, eat, take a shower, go to work, go out if there's something to do, or go home and sleep. (repeat if desired. rinse.) and the other night, r threatened to pick a fight with me if i persist.
she wants me to cry. but that's too hard. the tears won't come and ease whatever loneliness rests in my soul. the beer dulls it, the sweat mists it. but it never goes away.
i miss _____. what i would give for another year. month. week. day, even. okay, even one measly hour.
i should get some sleep. this is too pathetic already.