just finished folding clothes. a ton of clothes. i thought i'd never finish.
dang. i felt such a sense of accomplishment that i thought i'd start fixing the house too.
it's like pringles you see, once you pop, you can't stop.
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
bad timing
trust me. you don't want the aircon guys to take out your compressor at 2pm. you're going to have to drive home with your windows open in heavy traffic.
and that, my friend, is bound to toast anybody stupid enough to do it. meaning me.
and that, my friend, is bound to toast anybody stupid enough to do it. meaning me.
flat broke
for the first time in my life i experienced a moment of panic because i had no money.
well i had cash. 10 bucks. which wouldn't have been enough for parking. no money in my account because i haven't been getting much allowance, see. (unemployed eh). plus, the night before, i gave all my cash to my sister.
it didn't occur to me that i would need to bring cash since i had planned to shop for my niece's christening dress using my card.
ah, folly. oh well, i was meeting gak so that was okay. if all else failed i would have converted the dollars i had.
anyways, after the moment of panic, it passed. and i just found it plain funny.
then i went to buy a pen worth 8.25. who says the peso has no more buying power? :)
well i had cash. 10 bucks. which wouldn't have been enough for parking. no money in my account because i haven't been getting much allowance, see. (unemployed eh). plus, the night before, i gave all my cash to my sister.
it didn't occur to me that i would need to bring cash since i had planned to shop for my niece's christening dress using my card.
ah, folly. oh well, i was meeting gak so that was okay. if all else failed i would have converted the dollars i had.
anyways, after the moment of panic, it passed. and i just found it plain funny.
then i went to buy a pen worth 8.25. who says the peso has no more buying power? :)
Sunday, October 12, 2003
pinoy erotica
one of my pre-bar book acquisitions is a book called eros pinoy. an anthology of contemporary erotica in philippine art and poetry. published by anvil publications.
was pretty surprised when i saw it in national bookstore. there's a drawing of a woman's thigh and navel complete with all the in-betweens on the cover.
inside there are pictures of sculptures and paintings and what-have-yous of naked men and women, alone, or together, in various stages of lovemaking. whew.
and it has some funny entries. let me quote the first and the last lines of a poem by nick carbo entitled foreskin crackling (a prose poem)
"She had this wild thought to dip my penis in a pot of Swiss chocolate........She led me to the warm pot like some big animal, spanking my bare bottom along the way with her wooden spatula."
kinky. but fun.
good buy. go pinoy!
was pretty surprised when i saw it in national bookstore. there's a drawing of a woman's thigh and navel complete with all the in-betweens on the cover.
inside there are pictures of sculptures and paintings and what-have-yous of naked men and women, alone, or together, in various stages of lovemaking. whew.
and it has some funny entries. let me quote the first and the last lines of a poem by nick carbo entitled foreskin crackling (a prose poem)
"She had this wild thought to dip my penis in a pot of Swiss chocolate........She led me to the warm pot like some big animal, spanking my bare bottom along the way with her wooden spatula."
kinky. but fun.
good buy. go pinoy!
family
it's weird how families work. i don't know if i mentioned how close i had gotten to wen's family. well, we were close. the way he was to my family.
i am ninang of several of his nephews and he's ninong of mine. and i forged some pretty strong bonds with some of his sisters.
anyways, one of his sisters and i were supposed to go out yesterday. but she couldn't find anyone to watch the kids while she was out so we settled for a phone conversation. couldn't go there because she's in laguna.
inevitably we touched on the subject of the breakup. she asked me if i was seeing someone. i said yes but didn't give out any details. no boyfriend yet, though. it's weird. it was like we were talking about different people. i felt so detached from it. i seem to have pretty good defenses and they kick in as needed....
then i talked to his other sister. she asked me if i have a boyfriend already. i told her no and she didn't believe me. heyng? why doesn't she believe me?
(that little voice inside my head whose name is ego said she doesn't believe me because i'm too much of a catch to stay single for long.... :D)
anyways, i steered the conversation to something more neutral like birthdays, and when they're coming to visit.... she wants me to visit. sure. it's just in mindanao, right?
i found myself questioning the wisdom of staying friends with them. i'm pretty close to the one in laguna and we talk about anything and everything. we've helped each other through some tough times.
still, sometimes when i talk with them i find myself remembering occasions and feelings i would much rather forget..
in the grand scheme of things, does it matter if i'm reminded of those things or not? or do i go with my policy that friends matter more than the past hurts they remind me of?
i am ninang of several of his nephews and he's ninong of mine. and i forged some pretty strong bonds with some of his sisters.
anyways, one of his sisters and i were supposed to go out yesterday. but she couldn't find anyone to watch the kids while she was out so we settled for a phone conversation. couldn't go there because she's in laguna.
inevitably we touched on the subject of the breakup. she asked me if i was seeing someone. i said yes but didn't give out any details. no boyfriend yet, though. it's weird. it was like we were talking about different people. i felt so detached from it. i seem to have pretty good defenses and they kick in as needed....
then i talked to his other sister. she asked me if i have a boyfriend already. i told her no and she didn't believe me. heyng? why doesn't she believe me?
(that little voice inside my head whose name is ego said she doesn't believe me because i'm too much of a catch to stay single for long.... :D)
anyways, i steered the conversation to something more neutral like birthdays, and when they're coming to visit.... she wants me to visit. sure. it's just in mindanao, right?
i found myself questioning the wisdom of staying friends with them. i'm pretty close to the one in laguna and we talk about anything and everything. we've helped each other through some tough times.
still, sometimes when i talk with them i find myself remembering occasions and feelings i would much rather forget..
in the grand scheme of things, does it matter if i'm reminded of those things or not? or do i go with my policy that friends matter more than the past hurts they remind me of?
Saturday, October 11, 2003
dunpa dunpa and my husband is a sculptor
last night i attended a supposed girl's night out for a high school friend who's getting married. (supposed because one of the husbands and the fiance arrived after dinner)
we were going to have dinner in dencio's at fort bonifacio. rina and i went there together, mumbling all the way about how we were unfamiliar with makati and its surrounding areas.
we passed through c-5. i used to pass there on my way to the airport so it was quite familiar. so everytime rina would ask whether we should make a turn, i'd say "dun pa, dun pa."
then she goes to me, "they're remaking that film daw."
huh?
willy wonka and the chocolate factory?
huh?
oompa loompa!
oh. when i said dun pa dun pa the song oompa loompa came to mind daw. hence, the odd segue. weird. we started singing oompa loompa. and promptly got lost when we sang our next song, "cold summer nights."
anyways, we eventually got to dencio's and the first thing one of the girls there says is...
i went to this gallery. andun nga yung sculpture ng husband mo eh...
huh? (getting repetitive, i know.)
di ba sculptor ang husband mo?
ummmm.....last time i checked i was still single.
rina came to the rescue. pau (other friend) is the one married to the sculptor. ahhhhh... ok....
sigh. for a moment there i was married.
we were going to have dinner in dencio's at fort bonifacio. rina and i went there together, mumbling all the way about how we were unfamiliar with makati and its surrounding areas.
we passed through c-5. i used to pass there on my way to the airport so it was quite familiar. so everytime rina would ask whether we should make a turn, i'd say "dun pa, dun pa."
then she goes to me, "they're remaking that film daw."
huh?
willy wonka and the chocolate factory?
huh?
oompa loompa!
oh. when i said dun pa dun pa the song oompa loompa came to mind daw. hence, the odd segue. weird. we started singing oompa loompa. and promptly got lost when we sang our next song, "cold summer nights."
anyways, we eventually got to dencio's and the first thing one of the girls there says is...
i went to this gallery. andun nga yung sculpture ng husband mo eh...
huh? (getting repetitive, i know.)
di ba sculptor ang husband mo?
ummmm.....last time i checked i was still single.
rina came to the rescue. pau (other friend) is the one married to the sculptor. ahhhhh... ok....
sigh. for a moment there i was married.
Friday, October 10, 2003
sardines
fried sardines. my favorite. spanish style.
i like frying the sardines again in the oil they come in.
does that make the food fried fried sardines?
i like frying the sardines again in the oil they come in.
does that make the food fried fried sardines?
Thursday, October 09, 2003
girlfriend in a coma
read one of the books i bought before the bar. girlfriend in a coma by douglas coupland.
before buying it i read the first page. it starts with "I'm Jared, a ghost." okaaay. interesting enough. it seemed like fun.
and since i was on a book buying rampage (to calm my nerves before the bar) i bought it.
finally got to read it. it's about a group of friends. one of them has weird dreams and after making love with her boyfriend (for the first time) on top of a ski mountain, she goes drinking a lapses into a coma. (the ghost guy eventually explains that she went into a coma because she wanted to escape the events in her visions. her system went independent and actually induced itself to go into a coma. weird.)
9 months later she gives birth to a baby girl. prolific boyfriend. one shot deal. she wakes up 17 years later and starts predicting the end of the world. and it does end. but the group of friends survives.
i finished it and ended up depressed. i don't know if it's particularly depressing or it's just me. all i know is that after i read it i felt like i wanted to go into a coma, so i wouldn't have to go through the events that led to the end of the world.
apparently, people stopped asking questions and stopped growing. they weren't living anymore.
it scared me. maybe we're not living. just going through the motions, to quote buffy.
it seems we go through life just to get it over with. sure, there's the occasional highlight but then... what?
sigh. maybe it's just me. but that book made me want to read an inspirational book. so i searched through my sister's books and got og mandino.
desperate, huh?
one more thing though, i hope i never end up wanting to go into a coma to escape life.
before buying it i read the first page. it starts with "I'm Jared, a ghost." okaaay. interesting enough. it seemed like fun.
and since i was on a book buying rampage (to calm my nerves before the bar) i bought it.
finally got to read it. it's about a group of friends. one of them has weird dreams and after making love with her boyfriend (for the first time) on top of a ski mountain, she goes drinking a lapses into a coma. (the ghost guy eventually explains that she went into a coma because she wanted to escape the events in her visions. her system went independent and actually induced itself to go into a coma. weird.)
9 months later she gives birth to a baby girl. prolific boyfriend. one shot deal. she wakes up 17 years later and starts predicting the end of the world. and it does end. but the group of friends survives.
i finished it and ended up depressed. i don't know if it's particularly depressing or it's just me. all i know is that after i read it i felt like i wanted to go into a coma, so i wouldn't have to go through the events that led to the end of the world.
apparently, people stopped asking questions and stopped growing. they weren't living anymore.
it scared me. maybe we're not living. just going through the motions, to quote buffy.
it seems we go through life just to get it over with. sure, there's the occasional highlight but then... what?
sigh. maybe it's just me. but that book made me want to read an inspirational book. so i searched through my sister's books and got og mandino.
desperate, huh?
one more thing though, i hope i never end up wanting to go into a coma to escape life.
a mad pianist for a neighbor
damn. i've been living here for 3 years and practically everyday my neighbor, who is probably a music major, has been playing drills.
i find nothing wrong with that. after all, he does have to practice to keep those fingers supple. but hey, does he have to scream everytime he makes a mistake?????
the pattern is this: drill, drill, drill, fingers dancing over keys. then he hits the wrong keys. then he slams his hands on the piano and screams ARRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS WRONG WITH HIM????
artistic temperament? bs, if you ask me. he should get a sound proofed house (or is it just sound proof?) and he can scream his lungs out. nobody said he had to include the whole neighborhood in his frustrations. mad mad mad.
i find nothing wrong with that. after all, he does have to practice to keep those fingers supple. but hey, does he have to scream everytime he makes a mistake?????
the pattern is this: drill, drill, drill, fingers dancing over keys. then he hits the wrong keys. then he slams his hands on the piano and screams ARRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS WRONG WITH HIM????
artistic temperament? bs, if you ask me. he should get a sound proofed house (or is it just sound proof?) and he can scream his lungs out. nobody said he had to include the whole neighborhood in his frustrations. mad mad mad.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
memory lane yada yada yada
yesterday a friend and i went on a looooong lunch. along with the long lunch, of course, was the long talk.
i missed talking to her. we could talk for hours on end and it would still not be enough. but one thing is certain, after the talk, i walk away feeling a little better about myself, (knowing i'm not alone in my insanity after all) and the world feels a little kinder.
we took a stroll around the campus. i'm going to miss u.p. it's that other place i call home. apparently she feels the same. everytime i enter u.p. and i see the tree lined drive, i feel settled, secure. i have been here for 11 years now, going home to baguio for the occasional break. so we walked.
inevitably, every spot that ever held meaning for me called to mind memories. some sad, most happy, some hilarious, and some plain idiotic (i did try to rotate a one way sign after drinking red bull. never touched the stuff again.).
a kiss shared behind that post, whispered conversations on that seat, picnic on the grass, beer and isaw in that corner, hugs shared in the waiting shed, parting at the street corner, tears on the steps.... it all came back as i hit each particular place. and faded when i passed it.
i felt like i was putting my demons to rest and saying goodbye to every tree, plant, slab of concrete, brick, steel railing and whatever memories they have guarded.
i know i'm coming back. but i don't think i will ever call it home again, unless i start living here again.
but it remains special. i will never get over how beautiful the trees are, or how good the grass smells after the rain, or how peaceful the place is at 4 am...
when we got back to the car we said our goodbyes with promises to do that again sometime.
and when she left i looked around and sighed. this place used to be home.
i missed talking to her. we could talk for hours on end and it would still not be enough. but one thing is certain, after the talk, i walk away feeling a little better about myself, (knowing i'm not alone in my insanity after all) and the world feels a little kinder.
we took a stroll around the campus. i'm going to miss u.p. it's that other place i call home. apparently she feels the same. everytime i enter u.p. and i see the tree lined drive, i feel settled, secure. i have been here for 11 years now, going home to baguio for the occasional break. so we walked.
inevitably, every spot that ever held meaning for me called to mind memories. some sad, most happy, some hilarious, and some plain idiotic (i did try to rotate a one way sign after drinking red bull. never touched the stuff again.).
a kiss shared behind that post, whispered conversations on that seat, picnic on the grass, beer and isaw in that corner, hugs shared in the waiting shed, parting at the street corner, tears on the steps.... it all came back as i hit each particular place. and faded when i passed it.
i felt like i was putting my demons to rest and saying goodbye to every tree, plant, slab of concrete, brick, steel railing and whatever memories they have guarded.
i know i'm coming back. but i don't think i will ever call it home again, unless i start living here again.
but it remains special. i will never get over how beautiful the trees are, or how good the grass smells after the rain, or how peaceful the place is at 4 am...
when we got back to the car we said our goodbyes with promises to do that again sometime.
and when she left i looked around and sighed. this place used to be home.
Sunday, October 05, 2003
oh there you are, blog!
what to write about? haven't visited my blog in ages.
well mainly because i've been busy sorta kinda celebrating. 2 alcohohol free days in 1 week. been really catching up.
met some friends, gave thank you tokens to those who helped in my barops, spent time with my parents who were here for my sister's concert, watched my sister's concert, finished the second book from my stack.. and drank and drank.
did loads of things but need to do loads of things too. sigh.
well mainly because i've been busy sorta kinda celebrating. 2 alcohohol free days in 1 week. been really catching up.
met some friends, gave thank you tokens to those who helped in my barops, spent time with my parents who were here for my sister's concert, watched my sister's concert, finished the second book from my stack.. and drank and drank.
did loads of things but need to do loads of things too. sigh.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
weird analogy
the other day i was about to sleep when my friend edy sent me a text message saying it was so weird, not having anything to do.
yes it was weird. it still is weird. but the funny thing is, finishing the bar is just like breaking up.
it was as if for months i had this relationship with the books and then the bar came, and i had to put the books away. then i didn't know what to do anymore. for the first time in a long time i don't know what to do with my time. i don't know where to go, if i should even go somewhere, or if i should just stay home and clean the house.
i have no schedule to keep, no pressing matter to attend to, no lectures, no deadlines. just like breaking up. no anniversaries, no dates, no activities to plan....
like i said, weird analogy. but same effect. i have too much time in my hands. and i don't know what to do with it.
then again i have a humongous stack of books to attack. that's a start
yes it was weird. it still is weird. but the funny thing is, finishing the bar is just like breaking up.
it was as if for months i had this relationship with the books and then the bar came, and i had to put the books away. then i didn't know what to do anymore. for the first time in a long time i don't know what to do with my time. i don't know where to go, if i should even go somewhere, or if i should just stay home and clean the house.
i have no schedule to keep, no pressing matter to attend to, no lectures, no deadlines. just like breaking up. no anniversaries, no dates, no activities to plan....
like i said, weird analogy. but same effect. i have too much time in my hands. and i don't know what to do with it.
then again i have a humongous stack of books to attack. that's a start
i fear no beer....
finally. got to go out and party again. my friends from law school, my college friend and one high school friend.
such fun to be dancing again. haven't done that in a long time. sure we were the only ones dancing, but hey, to each his own.
woke up without a hangover too, which is always a good thing.
i am officially a member of the ranks of the unemployed.
such fun to be dancing again. haven't done that in a long time. sure we were the only ones dancing, but hey, to each his own.
woke up without a hangover too, which is always a good thing.
i am officially a member of the ranks of the unemployed.
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
my first tv appearance
got ambushed by the press last monday pala.
a tv crew from the insider went to the student lounge while we were all singing our hearts out. avoided the camera but the reporter followed. sigh.
she asked me what my plans were. told her i was going to go home and get to know the family again.
too bad i didn't get to see it. oh well.
a tv crew from the insider went to the student lounge while we were all singing our hearts out. avoided the camera but the reporter followed. sigh.
she asked me what my plans were. told her i was going to go home and get to know the family again.
too bad i didn't get to see it. oh well.
sooner than i thought
well it happened sooner than i thought. the supreme court decided to just nullify the mercantile exam and spread its 15% allotment out to the rest of the subjects.
of course we were happy. but then it was also anti-climactic.
traditionally, after the last exam of the bar, bands line up under the lrt along with the students. much like the first day of the bar exam. but then people bring beer and shower everyone walking. then off to some place where the school sponsors a drinking session - called beerops.
we didn't have that this year, owing to the fact that at that time we thought we still had one more exam.
sigh. sad. but then we made up for it. somebody brought over a videoke machine and we started singing and drinking at the lounge. we were few but it was fun.
now the only problem is what to do with my time. i think i'm in for some serious drinking.
yeba.
of course we were happy. but then it was also anti-climactic.
traditionally, after the last exam of the bar, bands line up under the lrt along with the students. much like the first day of the bar exam. but then people bring beer and shower everyone walking. then off to some place where the school sponsors a drinking session - called beerops.
we didn't have that this year, owing to the fact that at that time we thought we still had one more exam.
sigh. sad. but then we made up for it. somebody brought over a videoke machine and we started singing and drinking at the lounge. we were few but it was fun.
now the only problem is what to do with my time. i think i'm in for some serious drinking.
yeba.
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