family

it's weird how families work. i don't know if i mentioned how close i had gotten to wen's family. well, we were close. the way he was to my family.

i am ninang of several of his nephews and he's ninong of mine. and i forged some pretty strong bonds with some of his sisters.

anyways, one of his sisters and i were supposed to go out yesterday. but she couldn't find anyone to watch the kids while she was out so we settled for a phone conversation. couldn't go there because she's in laguna.

inevitably we touched on the subject of the breakup. she asked me if i was seeing someone. i said yes but didn't give out any details. no boyfriend yet, though. it's weird. it was like we were talking about different people. i felt so detached from it. i seem to have pretty good defenses and they kick in as needed....

then i talked to his other sister. she asked me if i have a boyfriend already. i told her no and she didn't believe me. heyng? why doesn't she believe me?

(that little voice inside my head whose name is ego said she doesn't believe me because i'm too much of a catch to stay single for long.... :D)

anyways, i steered the conversation to something more neutral like birthdays, and when they're coming to visit.... she wants me to visit. sure. it's just in mindanao, right?

i found myself questioning the wisdom of staying friends with them. i'm pretty close to the one in laguna and we talk about anything and everything. we've helped each other through some tough times.

still, sometimes when i talk with them i find myself remembering occasions and feelings i would much rather forget..

in the grand scheme of things, does it matter if i'm reminded of those things or not? or do i go with my policy that friends matter more than the past hurts they remind me of?