the 30th of october

today marks the 26th death anniversary of my brother lito. he was 14 when he died.

it's strange how when a member of the family dies, their death anniversary is the one date we remember, and not the birthday. i guess it's logical, since we remember birthdays when people are alive. still... i think we should still commemorate the birthday more than the death, so we celebrate how they were in life, and not how they died, and certainly not the aftermath of their deaths.

recently a very good friend's brother died. i had met him less than 5 times in all the years i've known the family. i suppose it would be safe to say that i did not really know him. but when he died i felt a pang of sadness, and pain. i realized that if the death of someone i had not really known, and who i knew only because i was close friends with his sister, could cause me to feel that pain, how much pain is his family going through?

i cannot imagine how painful it is. when my brother died i was all of two years old, and i did not even know he was dead. he was just a memory to me. a fading one at that. i do not remember feeling pain. and i can only surmise how shattered my family felt then, and how my friend and her family is feeling now.

26 years is practically half a lifetime. kuya lito's death has marked us, to what extent, i'm not really sure. but i'm sure 26 years from now we will still remember the 30th of october.