somehow knowing that something is going to end makes that something all the more precious, valuable. and losing it hurts more. the knowing doesn't prepare you for the loss nor does it lessen the impact.

an ex once said that an indication that he still loved me even after we broke up was if i could still hurt him...

i am preparing for loss. i don't know when or if it will even happen. but i know that if it does, i will keep on hurting for as long as i live.