Wednesday, October 08, 2003

memory lane yada yada yada

yesterday a friend and i went on a looooong lunch. along with the long lunch, of course, was the long talk.

i missed talking to her. we could talk for hours on end and it would still not be enough. but one thing is certain, after the talk, i walk away feeling a little better about myself, (knowing i'm not alone in my insanity after all) and the world feels a little kinder.

we took a stroll around the campus. i'm going to miss u.p. it's that other place i call home. apparently she feels the same. everytime i enter u.p. and i see the tree lined drive, i feel settled, secure. i have been here for 11 years now, going home to baguio for the occasional break. so we walked.

inevitably, every spot that ever held meaning for me called to mind memories. some sad, most happy, some hilarious, and some plain idiotic (i did try to rotate a one way sign after drinking red bull. never touched the stuff again.).

a kiss shared behind that post, whispered conversations on that seat, picnic on the grass, beer and isaw in that corner, hugs shared in the waiting shed, parting at the street corner, tears on the steps.... it all came back as i hit each particular place. and faded when i passed it.

i felt like i was putting my demons to rest and saying goodbye to every tree, plant, slab of concrete, brick, steel railing and whatever memories they have guarded.

i know i'm coming back. but i don't think i will ever call it home again, unless i start living here again.

but it remains special. i will never get over how beautiful the trees are, or how good the grass smells after the rain, or how peaceful the place is at 4 am...


when we got back to the car we said our goodbyes with promises to do that again sometime.

and when she left i looked around and sighed. this place used to be home.

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