Monday, September 01, 2003

ice tea and da gaddem yellow lanes (this is a long one.)

was drinking ice tea (or is it iced tea?) for lunch and was about to have my second glass when i remembered my horrible experience last friday.

went to pick up my sister at the airport. the trip to the airport was uneventful, except for a stray bus which threatened to make a pug nosed sedan of kojak (my car). got there in 30 minutes from up. not bad.

wasn't so lucky on the trip back. it was friday and payday. it was almost 3 pm and we were all starving so we decided to get lunch in rockwell. first restaurant we saw was country waffles. so we decided to eat there.

lunch was long and leisurely. my sister and i swapped stories about her experiences in japan and my oh so boring life as a bar reviewee facing impending doom. it was relaxing and i dreaded having to get up from my chair. but we had to get home.

so i drove home. my sister slept. she was exhausted and having a bout with a cold. so it was me and myself. had a great conversation. such an exchange of ideas!

me: bad trip yung bus na yun ah!
myself: oo nga. syet.
me: nice billboard.
myself: oo nga.

and so on and so forth.

traffic was really bad. i was resigned and figured it'll take us about 2 hours to get home. oh well. wasn't really in the mood to while away the time elsewhere so i told myself to be patient and we'll be home sooner or later. me agreed.

but then somewhere along edsa i began to feel uncomfortable. i had drunk about a liter of ice tea and i was feeling the effect. i needed to pee.

i stood (sat?) my ground and said i'll just wait till i get home. i can hold it. and i didn't want to leave my sister sleeping in the car while i was in a gas station's rest room.

so drive i did. at the kamias intersection i began to feel relieved. just one more turn to east avenue and i'll be home free.

but then the gaddem yellow lanes were there. when i crossed the intersection i stayed clear of the yellow lanes since i didn't want to get caught by a traffic enforcer. the thought of getting caught while i was desperately in need of a rest room was not appealing. and neither was wetting the car seat.

so stay clear i did. when i got to the broken yellow lines i knew it was safe to turn. then some idiot fx with an idiot driver blocked my right. followed by another idiot pick up and an idiot bus. damn! i couldn't make a turn. i followed the policy. i stayed clear of the yellow lanes because i had green plates. they didn't follow the rules. why was i suffering???? i needed to pee!!!!! gaddem yellow lanes.

i had two choices. either go straight when the light turned green and go by agham road or wait till the first fx moved and cut into the lane and speed for east avenue. took a peek. traffic enforcers. might be apprehended for swerving. hay naku. straight it is.

i thought i would totally lose it. i was getting goosebumps from the stress and the aircon wasn't helping any. was feeling almost lightheaded. the conversation between me and myself was evolving into one where we (me and myself) competed on who could say more curse words.

light finally turned green and i drove like a madman. when i finally got home i realized my sister had luggages. she remained asleep and blissfully unaware of my predicament. i woke her up. she had two bags. she was sick. i had to take the bigger bag.

picked up the big bag, slung it over my shoulder and made a run for it. 20 meters then up 4 flights of stairs. fumbled with the key, got in, threw the bag onto the sofa and ran for the bathroom. almost didn't make it. but i did.

bathroom never looked so good.

i was exhausted. after almost 2 hours of driving i was ready to drop. sat in front of the tv and pondered.

the point of this long narrative being, bottomless ice (iced?) tea, payday weekend traffic, airconditioning, and dose gaddem yellow lanes make for a lethal combination. consider yourself warned.

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