today i just found out that i am not graduating. and though i make a show that i am okay, i am anything but and i don't think anybody can blame me for not feeling okay.

my ex is apologizing, saying he blames himself. after all, he did tell me he was courting somebody else about 3 weeks before finals. i'd like to blame him. that way i will always have someone to throw my anger at. but ultimately the blame falls on me. i was the one who froze during the final exam. well, aside from my pen which refused to write properly. i was the one who could not, for the life of me, remember what i had memorized that very same morning. and i was the one who took the exam. nobody else.

so i guess now i have to send back the gifts i've received for graduation. and try to refund the grad fee they made us pay.

thank god i didn't have my dress made yet. looking at it would have been depressing as hell.