and so i ramble.

saranggola sa ulan. that's the title of my favorite gary granada's song. (it's downloadable by the way. click here)).

literally it means "kite in the rain" and the song insists that ang bato, sa tubig ay lulutang. at lilipad ang saranggola sa ulan. (a stone (rock?) will float in the water. a kite will fly in the rain)

it's a hopeful song. and for someone whose heart is battered and bruised sometimes it's a bit difficult to swallow. to actually believe that miracles do happen.

i'm trying to work right now but the moon peeking outside my window is teasing me, making me feel all sentimental and overly melodramatic.

at times i wonder if i should have held on. never mind who it was i should have held on to. just to simply have held on. i wonder where i would be right now. married with kids perhaps. or separated. or struggling as a single mom. or still single and lonely sometimes.

waxing drama maybe, like i am now.

it gets to me sometimes, not having someone to go home to. but i do cope. all i do is head straight to conspiracy and ask the cook what's for dinner. if they have food they never hesitate to share it with me, even if the food really is just meant for the employees. they welcome me and it feels like home. and then going back to the apartment after dinner to sleep doesn't seem so bad.

sigh.

it's women's day. happy women's day to all ladies out there.

i miss talking to you. thought i'd say (write?) it out loud. even if you never read my blog.

the moon's gone. i have to get back to work.

is this post even making sense?

why is it i always ask myself if i'm making sense?