absolutely useless question for the day:

do ants have laway?

reading a reviewer in criminal law. and i quote:

in still another case, the accused entered the store of a chinese couple, to commit robbery. they hogtied the chinaman and his wife. because the wife was so talkative, one of the offenders got a pan de sal and put it in her mouth. but because the woman was trying to wriggle from the bondage, the pan de sal slipped through her throat. she died because of suffocation. the offenders were convicted for robbery with homicide because there was a resulting death, although their intention was only to rob. they were given the benefit of paragraph 3 of article 13, "they did not intend to commit so grave a wrong as that committed." there was really no intention to bring about the killing, because it was the pan de sal they put into the mouth. had it been a piece of rag, it would have been different. in that case, the supreme court gave the offenders the benefit of praeter intentionem as a mitigating circumstance. the means employed is not capable of producing death IF ONLY THE WOMAN CHEWED THE PAN DE SAL.


unquote.

at 130 am, with two cups of coffee in a non coffee drinker like me, i was laughing hysterically, saying pan de sal pan de sal. that last statement was so profound. damn. why didn't she chew the pan de sal? if you were tied up with pan de sal stuffed in your mouth would you chew it? probably. with cheez whiz. geez.

back to reading. there's too much blood in my coffee. (to paraphrase faye)

my sister in the states sent me email saying :marunong na akong magtext!

she's all of 35 years old and i could almost see her face while she was typing that. funny. everyone's so into texting in the philippines that we take it all for granted. we send prayers, jokes, news, song lyrics, rants, raves , the occasional version of the chain letter, and what have you's. sometimes we forget that there is a primary use. communication. (dramatic!!!)

when i was sending her my number and the rest of the family's numbers, i began to feel excited too. now i don't have to wait online to get to send her messages. i don't have to call her and have her call me back. i can just text her to call me. exciting news can be relayed immediately.

i know my mom will be thrilled. she taught my niece how to text when she was there last year.

but then my sister, in all her excitement, forgot one thing. she forgot to give me her number.

guess she'll learn. :)

i'm drinking milo again.

it's funny. when i found out wen was courting somebody else i gave up 3 things. sleeping in my bed, eating chocolates and drinking milo. for some reason or other i couldn't do all those. my sister was ecstatic, of course. after all, i did give her the stash of chocolates i had. and that was a lot.

but the milo i couldn't understand. maybe because we were both non coffee drinkers and would prefer to drink milo or hot chocolate instead. maybe it was the color. hahaha.

still, my sister's been going at me to drink milo and i have consistently refused. until this morning.

there i was, reading up on civil law when all of a sudden i could almost taste milo. then it hit me. a craving for a warm (not hot, mind you.) warm cup of milo. so i heated some water and made myself a mug of the beverage. and the first gulp was like heaven. it was like coming home. i can't believe i'm writing about milo. but it seemed like such an event that i had to write it down. i finished the mug and now am craving for more.

the way i see it, i'm on my way. on my way to where? full recovery perhaps. the associations are slowly losing their hold on me. i've been sleeping in my bed for months now and now am drinking milo. these are good tidings.

life is good. the pain is almost gone, it just hits me when i'm feeling particularly vulnerable. which hasn't been happening much.

i'm moving on i suppose. and getting better each day.

who knows one day i'll wake up and reach for a bar of dark chocolate. and it will taste like heaven.

now all i have to do is pass the bar and then i'll be fine and i'll go out and face the world. watch out world, here i come!

oh, and watch out wasteline. ü

p.s.

just a thought.

associations: san miguel beer -- san miguel corporation -- danding cojuanco -- presidency -- philippines -- gone to the dogs (if not already).

so i was thinking, if i drink enough san mig light san miguel will be making a profit from that and then that profit will accrue to danding and he will use that to set his campaign machinery running and he will run for president of the philippines, then he will win because of that machinery and then where will we be? so, do i love my country enough to get me to stop drinking san mig light? will i make a difference if i start drinking lone star light exclusively?

i think i can give up san mig light. but then.... red horse is manufactured by san miguel corporation.

and therein lies my dilemma. sigh. love of country is hard.

i'd like another august please, well done.

it seems that since august started i've been absorbing more information than i have for the past 5 months. maybe it's the panic. maybe it's because august is immediately before september, when the reckoning begins. maybe it's because it's do or die.

so i'd like to order another august. the panic will help, plus the additional 31 days can't hurt.

so there. another august, 2003. well done please. thank you.

yesterday i went to manaoag with a couple of friends (nizette and meg) to attend the first friday mass and to pray for the bar. we got there a little before 7 and we had pan de sal with corned beef. the mass was short, because there was no choir, and hence, no singing. but it was solemn just the same. and after the mass the priest called for people with religious artifacts to go to the altar to be blessed.

i had a crucifix on a chain so i went there. i got hit smack in the eye by the squirting holy water but i didn't mind.

then we went to the second floor to pay homage to Our Lady of Manaoag. then on to the religious shop. there were so many things for sale. from tiny rosaries and crucifixes ( is that right?) to huge statues. we got a few candles and some rosaries.


we lit some candles for our intentions. i think i lit 10. some of it for the bar, some for my family a few for my classmates who were pregnant and are taking the bar, one for my personal intentions (re: personal life). i just hope my prayers were heard.

then we went on to the second mass to have the stuff we bought blessed.

the second mass was sponsored by a school in manaoag. there were hundreds of school children in uniform attending the mass and they were all singing! that's my favorite part of the mass. when the people start singing. imagine all these people who don't know each other singing together. that's prayer in its highest form (at least in my opinion).

anyways, the blessing came again and as usual, i got hit smack in the face with holy water.

we had a few pictures taken in front of the church and then we got some holy water for free.

meg said we had to have it blessed but i said it was blessed already. and besides, even if it wasn't blessed, it was all about faith. if you believe in something, then it is what you believe it to be. so blessed or not, i'm sure the water i have in my bag is holy water. :)

anyways, we stopped at a roadside canteen and had shrimps for breakfast. then back to manila.

that was a tiring trip. for the first time in i can't remember i slept from 5 pm to 7 am. i would wake up every now and then to a text message but i never finished a reply. i would slip back to dreamland.


and now am awake and strangely at peace. the pilgrimage, as my mom calls it, did me a lot of good. i actually think that things are going to be alright.

i think it's all about faith.

i don't want to study anymore.

i think i am actually moving on. i can talk to my ex without breaking down. i can even joke with him about being a godparent to his children.

i can even say his name now. wen.

so this is how it feels. maybe my heart is a little harder. maybe i am a little more forgiving. maybe i'm tired of being hurt and i think it's about time i got out of the rut i'm in and let myself love again. a little too soon but a little love can't hurt.

so there. maybe i should change the title of this blog. all these maybes. maybe i should go back to the books now.

it's nice to be loved. :)

all i want is to sleep one whole night without waking up at ungodly hours.

haven't been sleeping well. maybe it's the bar exam or something. i wake up every 2 hours and although i get to sleep again right away, when morning comes i feel so wasted. today is no exception.

slept before midnight. woke up at 1, 3, 430, 6, 730. slept again only to be woken up by the phone. twas my mom and that is always welcome. but i slept again and here i am an hour later feeling so tired it's as if i had just come from a gym or something.

maybe i should do meditation. or go see a doctor or something.

i just want to sleep!!!!!

storm just left the area. everything smells fresh and clean although i hate to think about the damage that has been wrought in other areas.

i am slowly coming to terms with my life. i fixed my room. and that's a start. i figured i better get my butt into gear so i'm starting to. buying all the books i need and actually reading them.

my personal life has got to go on the back burner. i spent most of last night thinking about having kids and the likelihood of that happening in the next year. it is possible i suppose. a husband? that'll have to come later. kids first. hehehe. (if my mom and dad read this i am getting a severe talking to.) point being, i waste so much time thinking about my personal life and it's getting in the way of my studying. so back burner it is. after september i can wallow in misery. but not just yet.

i don't want to think about anybody anymore. i don't want to cry anymore. i don't want to lie in bed thinking about the might have beens or the what ifs. i just want to finish the bar and leave for a while. maybe go visit my sister in the states. maybe just up and disappear. it's tiring to be me.

i just want an uncomplicated life. it seems well nigh impossible at the moment but am sure it can be achieved. (why am i such an optimist at times? hehehe)

i am rambling. it's nice to ramble.

back to the books.

review sucks. i just spent the better part of the weekend lounging around in baguio. went to a bar saturday night and got drunk. went to the beach sunday and got drunk. woke up the next day and was drinking again by lunch time. must be the beachy atmosphere. hehehe.

i have been trying to keep the bar from intruding into my oh so preoccupied brain. like paulyn says, (paulyn is a friend from baguio) i am full of useless information which i do not hesitate to pass on. hehehe.

but tomorrow i hit the books. i have to. or else. :)

Re: your July 19, 12:48:48 pm blog --> Not fair! Paano if pangit 'yung ilagay mo na crush ko?!! Eh 'di sira ang reputasyon ko?! LOL!

How's your review going, my dear Tinaboo?! I always ask you that question, don't I? Hmm... sor-reh. Bawi ka na lang sa akin when the time comes na ako na nagre-review... IF the time comes, rather... :P

Have you heard of the news about Abella? Grabadash 'no?! Sa Kawanihan ng Rentas Internas nga ako mag-aapply ng trabaho, harhar!

That's all for now... till the time I blog on your space again... ;) Muah!

tried a typing test. i type 56 words per minute with 92% accuracy. i could make a living out of this. i got an expert rating. hehehe.

i sound like a sesame street character.