storm just left the area. everything smells fresh and clean although i hate to think about the damage that has been wrought in other areas.

i am slowly coming to terms with my life. i fixed my room. and that's a start. i figured i better get my butt into gear so i'm starting to. buying all the books i need and actually reading them.

my personal life has got to go on the back burner. i spent most of last night thinking about having kids and the likelihood of that happening in the next year. it is possible i suppose. a husband? that'll have to come later. kids first. hehehe. (if my mom and dad read this i am getting a severe talking to.) point being, i waste so much time thinking about my personal life and it's getting in the way of my studying. so back burner it is. after september i can wallow in misery. but not just yet.

i don't want to think about anybody anymore. i don't want to cry anymore. i don't want to lie in bed thinking about the might have beens or the what ifs. i just want to finish the bar and leave for a while. maybe go visit my sister in the states. maybe just up and disappear. it's tiring to be me.

i just want an uncomplicated life. it seems well nigh impossible at the moment but am sure it can be achieved. (why am i such an optimist at times? hehehe)

i am rambling. it's nice to ramble.

back to the books.