it sucks to be you

nothing personal. it's just that i've been obsessing over the soundtrack of avenue q the musical.

a friend gave it to me last friday and i only got to listen to it yesterday morning. i had no idea what it was about but the first song reminded me of the opening strains of the sesame street theme.

apparently i wasn't far off. the format is the same-puppets and humans, with musical numbers, of course. but the similarity stops there. i don't think we will ever have a sesame street episode with a song number entitled "i'm not wearing underwear today." :)

the music is wonderful, the humor terribly adult. the album appeals to the child and the (perverse) adult in me. hope i'll get to watch it sometime soon. you should too.

oh, before i forget, here's a phrase from "what do you do with a B.A. in English":

"i'm kinda pretty
and pretty damn smart.
i like romantic things
like music and art.
and as you know i have
a gigantic heart.
so why don't i have a boyfriend?!?!?
F__K! it sucks to be me!"

-kate monster

cute, di ba?

now i work in the market as a check out girl

obviously this line is not enough to convince people of tracy chapman's gender.

admittedly, i used to think she was a he. the photo on the cd my sister gave me (her first album, i think) did not help any. i still thought she was male. hehehe.

last night i discovered that people are still confused. two waiters at the conspiracy garden cafe along visayas avenue (do visit. this is a shameless plug.) were arguing. on my way to the washroom one of them stopped me to settle the issue. the question was -- "ma'am, babae ba si tracy chapman?"

i answered yes, of course. one of them had to fork over 10 bucks. nothing to sneeze at these days. every centavo counts.

they were good natured about it though.

wala lang. naaliw lang ako. di pala ako nag-iisa sa pagkalito kay tracy. :)

kids. yes kids.

as soon as i arrived in baguio my sisters started telling me stories about the kids. two of my favorites:

carlo:

carlo: (holding chicharon bulaklak) ano to?
tita: chicharon bulaklak
carlo: nung buhay pa ito san to nakatira?




renzo

renzo: mama, i know why papa married you.
mama: why?
renzo: because you're pretty.
mama: you mean he didn't marry me because he loved me?
renzo: no. he loves you because you're pretty.

there. sometimes i'm almost afraid to have kids. :) ah but they're such precious ones.

good to be home.

my manang

well, i have 5. but the only one i call manang is ate k. no, it is not derogatory. nor does it allude to appearances. for the ilocanos, it is a term of respect for an older female. and for us, a term of endearment.

she came immediately before i did. we grew up together, fighting over the smallest things (we beat each other up over toeshoe pads), laughing over the tiniest matters. we were together in grade school, college, and eventually -- law school.

it's been a riot. it still is. we finish each other's sentences, look at each other and communicate more without saying a word.

she's hopeless with the dishes, almost gives me heart attacks with her driving, lazy around the house (peace!), terribly sentimental, and horribly emotional. but she's got the purest voice one can ever hope to have, and as one of her friends put it -- a face by da vinci, a body by boticelli (HAHAHAHAHAHA). she stands for what she believes in, and argues just for kicks. she will fight for those she loves, right or wrong. she's smart as hell. she's one of the select few who can catch my cracks without my having to explain myself.

those who know her will agree.

let's just say i'm lucky to have 5 sisters, and to have her as one of them.

HAPI BERTDEY MANANG K. love you.

new look

finally got the chance to make my blog over. i'm liking the new look. :)

dead ringer. not.

was walking along the sidewalk earlier on my way home when i saw this guy sitting on a bench. i literally stopped in my tracks. i thought it was my ex, w.

the resemblance was amazing. or so i thought. i actually stared and almost said hi. he stared back and that's when i realized it wasn't him. i kept on staring and decided they didn't look all that much alike.

it's almost sad that i could actually mistake that guy for w. there were marked differences in the faces.

i think it's sad because i used to know every plane, line, and crease on w's face. i'd know him from the side, from the back, and most definitely from the front. but now the face in my head is not as clear.

i suppose everybody goes through this. perhaps it's the subconscious' way of coping.

perhaps it's survival.

java java java java java

every time i grab a cup of coffee, people around me try to stop me from having the brew. mainly because i get a little crazy. okay, okay. a lot crazy.

do you remember the scene from encino man where brendan fraser chews up some coffee and starts bouncing around the room? that happens to me. except perhaps i manage to not hit the walls.

it's funny. perhaps it's because i was never really a coffee drinker. milo was my drink of choice for the mornings, beer in the evenings. drinking soda is also something i don't do often.

so the caffeine hits me with a bang. literally. i wear a big, stupid, idiotic grin all the time (my sister would say deranged) and i can't help it!

the good part about this is that i can always threaten my friends and family about my drinking coffee. hehehe. that'll learn 'em!

the next time you see me sporting a big grin (and you know for a fact that i didn't get l___d) make a beeline for the next door. :D

i know tibibord wears a painful look everytime.

45 years and counting

today is the 45th wedding anniversary of my mom and dad.

over the years i've seen them love each other to bits, and fight each other over both small and huge matters alike.

i have this to say though: if i find something even half as wonderful as their relationship, i'll be one of the luckiest people in the world.

happy anniversary ma and dad! love you.

"her shoes were tight but she said, awryt!"

but that's what some say.


click here.

watched once on this island last night at the carlos p. romulo theater at rcbc tower. i must say, i was dumbstruck.

i was unfortunate enough to have witnessed a totally amateur production of the play about a couple of years ago. it was horrible and it left a really bad taste in my mouth. so when my sister told me we were watching the play and that they actually had professional actors, i had high hopes.

i was in for a treat. the opening number "we dance" was enough to erase the bad taste.

there were only 12 actors, and each one played his/her role so well it was almost magical for me. well i do believe the guy playing daniel and the girl playing ti moune could have done better (look, somebody agrees with me.). but the rest of the cast, particularly bituin escalante, menchu lauchengco-yulo, bojie pascua (yes, kuya bojie), may bayot, and jett pangan gave justice to their roles. the little girl (i didn't catch her name) was also wonderful, with her lisp and pure voice. the last scene particularly got me.

must watch, if musicals are your thing. you won't be disappointed. i know i wasn't.

i'm still singing in my head.

the few, the proud, santolan-annapolis crowd

araw araw sa mrt
pagpunta sa trabaho
at sa pag-uwi
aking napapansin
di maiwasang tumingin
mga bumababang mabilis
sa santolan-annapolis.
nakikipagtulakan
parating naiipit
paisa-isa silang
lumalabas pilit.
isipin mo naman
sa dinami-dami ng tao
bakit kakaunti
ang bumababa dito?

nakakaaliw, nakakatuwa
di maiwasang maisip
ang mga nanganganak na ina.
umiiri, nagsusumikap iluwa
ang sanggol
palabas ng bukana
humihilab ang tyan
anak, labas na dyan!

bawat taong lumalabas
sa santolan-annapolis
kailangan gumalaw,
lumabas ng mabilis
at pag nakaraos
at nakalabas na ng pinto,
mga taong naiwan,
muling pupunuin bawat kanto.

naisip ko ring bumaba dito
pero pagdating ng cubao,
ubos na ang mga tao
kaya hahayaan ko na sila
na bumaba paisa-isa
at aaliwin ko na lang ang sarili
sa kanilang pagbaba.

HAHAHAHA. sometimes i kill me.

old friends found

got in touch with an old friend. i must say, it feels good. specially when you're feeling down in the dumps.

it's funny how things work out. just when i thought that nothing would lift my spirits, an old friend comes along and says hi.

good to have you back. :)

under the weather

for the first time in i don't know how long i slept till 2 pm in the afternoon.

been sick for the past week starting thursday. was working till 430 am last saturday so here i am, suffering the consequences.

stayed home today because i was too groggy. i usually can't sleep beyond 9 am, no matter how late i turn in the night (or dawn) before.

hate getting sick. it's a rare occurrence for me. i get sick once a year and it really gets me down.

so here i am, still at home, trying to not move because the heat is HORRIBLE. thank goodness it's windy. but still.

am loaded up on medicines at the moment and hopefully will be well by morning.

sigh.

do the words roasted pig mean anything to you?

yes. that's me. roasted. (pig?)

got back from 3 nights 2 days in boracay around 1 pm this afternoon.

suffice it to say that if not for the jetski and snorkeling and clear waters i would've hated the place. oh, and the fresh bread at the barracuda bar. :)

more on this when my back no longer twitches with every movement of my fingers.

my belief was not unfounded

itaas mo!

although that newest commercial with kris aquino really ticks me off.

short and sweet

i've had my share of commencement speeches. and i regret that i wasn't around to listen to this.

it is at odds with the traditional general commencement speech - mainly because it is almost conversational, and in tagalog to boot. there may have been others like it, but i profess ignorance.

read it. it's shorter than my previous blog. and easier to read. :D

after 6 years (brace yourself, this is going to be a long one)

well here i am.

sabi nga ng daddy ko, abogado na ako. and all of a sudden i don't know what to do anymore.

when i was applying for a college course, i didn't know what to take up. i didn't know what i wanted to be. i had wanted to be a nurse back in grade school then thought better of it as i grew older. (maybe i should have pursued that line of work. might be filthy rich by now. hehehe)

going back, i never had a plan in life. for a moment there i wanted to go into politics, like my grandmother and my dad. that dream faded into oblivion really, really fast.

so there i was, a high school student without the faintest idea what i wanted to take up in college. the guidance counselor didn't help any. this is the gist of his evaluation:

"Will be good at anything she endeavors, except maybe a career in politics."

duh. i could have told you that.

still, i didn't know what to do. so like any girl in a quandary, i asked my older sister who was in college. she gave me pretty sensible advice. or so i thought. by the time she was through with me, i was convinced that i wanted to take up computer science. and in default of that, interior design. a year ago i realized that i applied for those courses because my sister's two best friends were in those courses at that time.

thing is, i ended up in geodetic engineering (go figure) and stayed there for about 3 years. i got dismissed from the college of engineering and ended up in ... (drum roll please) interior design.

yes. my second choice when i filled up the application for college. i didn't go there in the first place even if i had passed because I HAD NO TALENT FOR IT. so when i got dismissed, and i applied again, i was on tenterhooks. my grade point average was fine. but hell, i didn't know how to draw and there was a talent test.

for some reason the head of the department thought my drawing of the queen anne chair was passable, so i got accepted.

barely made it though, what with all the drawings, renderings, etc.... my theories were fine, the executions were... okay i guess.

i graduated.

the year i graduated from college was the year my sister took her oath as a lawyer. i had been toying around with the idea of taking up law. just to see what it was like... bottom line was i didn't want to go to work just yet .

but i still decided to take the board exam. it seemed like a logical next step. but my sister (yes the same one who advised me on what to take for college) told me that it would not be practical to go to review classes because i was planning on taking up law.

and once again, i believed her.

my classmates sent me materials for the exam, and they went with me when i applied. they religiously attended the night classes, taught me how to draw, to color, to fix the perspectives of my plates.. the works. and me... i slept.

some of my materials have remained unopened till now.

to make the long story short, i failed the exam. i did not study, nor was i really paying attention in school. imagine this: the question was how many springs are needed for a so-and-so sized sofa. imagine me, moving around in my chair, trying to figure out how many springs will poke my butt at any given moment, and the distance of the pokes.

so yes, i failed. but i took the entrance exam to law school. passed. went for the interview. passed.

what followed was 4 years of fun. i was failing exams, getting screamed at during recitations, losing sleep. learned to play billiards, discovered the acoustic music scene, gained an unmentionable number of pounds, lost boyfriends, gained some...others...

then the bar came along. failed the first one (i still firmly believe my paper was switched with that of the person who placed number 10.) i was working at that time.

i kept on working until about a month and a half before the next bar exam. studied some, played super bounce, studied some more. took the exam.

i passed this time around. now here i am.

after the euphoria, the celebration, the endless bottles of beer... here i am.

i will never have to worry about getting good grades again. about passing. about knowing enough to get by and gain approval, and consequently, receiving a passable grade.

suddenly getting the grade doesn't matter anymore.

and i don't know how i feel. on the one hand the happy go lucky life of a student is something i enjoyed extremely. the pampered life of the bar exam taker i also enjoyed, despite the frequent stress attacks.

i'm relieved of course. and at the same time lost. it was like those few months during high school before going to college. what to do next?

i can't ask my ever reliable crazy sister. she's taking the bar too.

so i guess i'm going to have to do some soul searching... what to do next. i have a host of choices: ambulance driver? bartender? electrician? taxi driver? erotic tagalog romance novel writer? baby sitter? teacher? the list goes on and on. except politics of course. but i'm a lawyer.

i took the oath last friday. while in my slinky dress under my shiny black toga, dying because of my 4 inch heels, i thought -- this is what i had worked for. i didn't want to be a lawyer but there i was. and as i listened to the speeches and watched the faces of the people taking the oath around me, i realized that if i didn't really want to be there, i wouldn't have been.

i have never been one to just keep on going at something just because i had started already. i could have quit, and yet i pressed on. this must have been something i wanted to do. maybe it is. i'm on my way to being sure....

another chapter of my life is over, i guess. and i'm closing that book. what happens next, you'll read about it here. or not.

but for now it -- it's finally over.