how do you recover?

somebody asked me this question the other day. and although i am far from fully recovered, i had a ready answer. i said slowly.

first you wallow in misery and then you wallow some more. hehehe. the thing is, what i had to do was keep busy, write whatever angst(s?) i had, drown myself in alcohol and generally try to live.

i took it a second at a time. coz i didn't have much choice in the matter. you wake up in the morning and force yourself to get out of bed (or in my case, the mattress on the floor). you take a bath. you eat your meals. you go to school and see your friends. you go out and try to have a good time. before you know it, it'll be night time and it would be time to sleep again. and then you realize that the day has really gone by and you survived it.

sure there were moments during those days when i'd end up staring into space and tears would threaten to overcome me. but these things need to happen. you cannot will yourself to forget or to get well. at least not immediately. the will is there and it gives you the ability to forget, sooner or later. but you need to go through the gamut of emotions before you settle down. you need to mourn. i know i needed to mourn. and i did. for months.

now am a little better. i still take it one second at a time. i wake up, eat my meals, take my bath and try to study. and at the end of the day i slip into slumber, thankful for another day and hoping that tomorrow will be a better one.

and of course, i prayed.

might not work for you but it worked for me. somehow. so there.

how do you recover? you take it one second at a time.