people

one reason i take the mrt, aside from the traffic, is because i like watching people. they're interesting and it's fun wondering what their life is like and making up stories in my head.

this morning, though, i wasn't having fun.

a lady coming along in years suddenly thrust her hand across my front to reach the pole. since i didn't see her at first, i was more than ready to pick a fight. but it was an old lady in a pink blouse. i gave way and let her stand beside the post so she can hold on. a few minutes later i saw her slowly sink to the floor. we held her and a guy sitting down stood up. he had crutches but he gave his seat. we asked her if she was okay and she said she was.

later i saw her crying. so i took the scrunched up tissues in my hand (courtesy of mcdonald's), peeled the one with hot chocolate traces away, and gave her the rest.

i felt so helpless. and i think the guy with the crutches felt the same way. we were both getting off at buendia and she was getting off at taft.

she said she was okay. i hope she is.

in the bus i saw this lady, middle-aged probably. perhaps older. she got off at the same stop immediately before i did. she was walking so slow and she had an umbrella to support her. i held the people behind me at bay so they wouldn't push past her. i stood my ground.

i almost offered to walk with her but she was smartly dressed and i felt that she might be offended, or worse, she might think i'd rob her. i'm wearing a shirt and cords. so i walked on.

i felt anger. i was mad at the world that demanded that people their age should still be working. that they would have to commute and take the train or the bus because they don't have the money for cabs or because the traffic is really bad.

i was outraged that they should have to suffer so. and i hated myself for the moment because i felt i should have done more. i just didn't know what.

i almost lost hope that this country would ever progress. we don't even help each other.

but then i thought about that guy in crutches, bum leg and all, offering his seat.

and i didn't feel so hopeless anymore.