burning

it's 2 am. just got home from the bar and am burning cds.

was a little depressed and a lot pissed today.

went shopping for my nephew's birthday today. ordinarily i would have enjoyed shopping for a child's birthday party. but i was pissed as hell.

the little boy having the party is not the favorite, see. the second one is. the younger brother. when he had his birthday party, the parents spent almost 30 thousand to bring everybody to a water resort. the kids had a grand time. why not? it was practically a child's dream to spend his birthday swimming the whole day.

and there i was shopping. on a budget, because we were spending for the birthday. the only contribution of the parents was the cake. and they didn't even order it ahead. so it was impossible to get a cake done to specs.

when i went around the mall there were no loot bags to match the invitations. buzz lightyear, supposed to be. i had to get kim possible loot bags. i had to get harry potter balloons because there were no buzz lightyear balloons. there were no fancy napkins, or paper plates. i had to get plain ones. even the cups looked cheap because that was the only kind i found.

i felt so bad because when the younger one had his birthday, everything matched. everything was perfect. the parents were almost panicking because they wanted everything hitch free.

and yet there i was trying to make my purchases fit into the budget that my dad gave me. in the end i used my credit card. i told myself that i would not use it. but this was different. i refuse to let the older son feel unwanted and unloved. to hell with my credit card bill.

i splurged on some give-aways. bought empty cds and picked songs from my sesame street collection to burn for the children. i am currently burning cds. i have more than 10 to go.

good thing sassy is here. sassy is my sister's laptop.

i am going to make this birthday special, with or without the help of the older son's parents.

he's special. and he deserves nothing less.

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"oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!"

-dr. seuss